Who doesn’t love free books? First, let me clarify: I’m not talking about when your favorite author runs a limited freebie on a series starter. Snap those deals up! You know the kind I mean… when 30 or so authors band together to offer ebook deals if you sign up for their newsletter, or follow them on social media, or whatever. These freebies are often short reader magnets meant to introduce you to the series character or tease you into trying the series by offering a short prequel. There’s nothing wrong with this type of promotional story as a concept, or using a free story to garner followers.

The problem comes when the story, instead of making you interested in more from the author, has you adding their name to a ‘do not bother’ list. When 27 of the 30 downloads are so unreadable, you regret filling up your e-reader with them.

I’d argue that your reader magnet should be some of your best work, not something thrown together without the benefit of a single read-through, let alone an editor.

Maybe this is me being a Miss Crankypants after struggling to find anything worth reading this morning, but here is my list of things I would NOT do in your reader magnet:

1. Do not start your reader magnet with a flashback, only to jump to “12 hours earlier” on the next page. I get that you want to start off your (usually very short) story with a bang. But we have to care about Betty Bluebonnet as a person before we can care about why she almost got run over by a car.
2. Can we PLEASE stop describing every scent as some weird combination of x plus y? “The room smelled of regret and old gym socks.” “He awoke on a couch that was stuffed with stress and nutmeg.” Honestly, the phrasing reeks of AI and  lavender. (Did you see what I did there?)
3. I KNOW this is a really short reader magnet. No, you will not have time for great detail or backstory. But it is imperative that you don’t, I don’t know, SKIP INTRODUCTIONS. How can your protagonist go from being unconscious to discussing missing ledgers with someone she’s never met before? How does she know the other guy’s name? How does she know about the ledgers (or account books, or lost keys, or whatever)? Did she absorb that information via osmosis while she was out like a light on the stress-filled couch?
4. Please for the love of God, don’t create a dramatic exit for a minor character in order to facilitate leaving the protagonist with a cat (or a dog) and then never explain why they don’t return for their furry friend. Telling us they are happy in their new petless life without explaining why they had to emergency relocate in the first place makes us wonder if they are in Witness Protection. Yes, I know this is a SHORT READER MAGNET and you don’t have time/space/energy for those pesky little details. Then don’t have the minor character leave under dramatic circumstances. If you need to save the word count for storytelling, eliminate the minor character altogether and skip straight to, “my cat, Murdermittens, whom I inherited when my friend Cindy Lu had to return to Whoville…” and move on.
5. Yes, I KNOW IT IS A SHORT STORY but perhaps having the protagonist uncovering the identity of the killer by annoying the heck out of all the other characters with blunt, none-of-your-business questioning until the killer feels obligated to take a crack at her isn’t sustainable sleuthing. And why do these suspects spill their guts to her instead of telling her to take a hike? “Why, yes, the dead guy DID force me to sell the family home when I couldn’t come up with the back taxes, not that it’s any of your business and why am I telling you this in the first place?”

I know I’m being super picky here. Hey, you don’t see me writing short stories! Even my novellas are almost novel length. There’s an art to writing short stories that I don’t possess. But seriously, take a hard look at your reader magnet and see if it is helping or hurting you.

I, for one, am no longer willing to waste time on these freebies.