I’ve been publishing stories since 2010, when my first book was accepted by a small press. Since then, I’ve written 19 novels under various pen names.

I made a decision to rebrand myself and self-publish in 2017, when two of the small presses I worked with stopped paying royalties to their authors. I re-branded again in 2022 when I realized that I wrote more mysteries than I did romances (though I’m stuck with this website domain name unless I want to start all over again from scratch).

Also in 2022 or thereabouts, I decided to spend less time on social media platforms I didn’t enjoy, and dove headfirst into TikTok. I didn’t abandon the other platforms–authors are expected to maintain a presence on a wide variety of sites–but I neglected them (and this website) in favor of my new shiny toy. 

I’ve never had as much fun on a social media platform as I have on TikTok. Something about the format brought out the frustrated actress in me, and I had a blast playing with wigs, filters, costumes, and lip syncing to funny sounds. If I could make it relevant to my writing, even better. But unlike people who managed to parlay their time on the app into real income, or at the very least, a decent side hustle, I never hit the big time. Not as an  influencer. Not as an author. But I met lots of wonderful people and I had FUN at a time when I needed it the most. I found an enjoyable community there, and I loved it.

It seems very likely that TikTok will be banned in the US shortly. Don’t get me started on that–that’s a whole other discussion by itself–but let’s just say that Google, Amazon, and Meta donated large sums of money to seeing the app got killed here in the US.

So, 2 years of work building a platform will be going down the drain. And I have to say, as much fun as I’ve had on TikTok, it’s been detrimental to my writing productivity. Every year I spend more and more time on marketing, promotion, and social media to the exclusion of writing. One of the nice things about TT was the algorithm was easier to master. But all SM platforms keep raising the bar on visibility, requiring you to spend either time or money there in order to be seen.

The bulk of my ideal readership is probably on Facebook, to a lesser degree, Instagram. The bulk of my sales are through Amazon. I’ve spoken at length about why I don’t have my books in KU, and only part of that is because once all other digital platforms for selling books is gone, Amazon can do whatever they like to authors. There are reasons why I can’t divorce myself from these platforms even though I have strong moral objections to how they do business. (Leaving Twitter was easy. Once Musk took over, it ceased to be a useful platform for authors. If you want to find me in a happier place, I’m on bluesky now)

And when I realized that the odds were high I was going to lose TikTok–and any traction I’ve worked to build as an indie author–something inside me just gave up.

No. I’m not going to quit writing.

But I’m going to take the pressure off of it.

I’m no longer going to jump through hoops to get noticed. I’m going to spend less time on social media period. I’m not going require my writing to fund my retirement, or make me a household name. I’m going to write because I have fun doing so, and stop trying so hard to make it a second (or third) job. I’m going to write the stories I want to read without worrying if they are marketable or not. If I pitch something to an agent, it will be for the fun of it, not because I’m hoping it will change my life. If I go to a convention, it will be to see friends, not to sell myself as an author. I’m not giving up on my dreams. I’m giving up on sacrificing joy for them. Honestly, at this point, the writing just has to break even and stop costing me money.

And while I’m conflicted about where I will spend my time as an author on social media, maybe the answer for right now is right here. Where I can release my thinky thoughts for people to read or not read as they see fit, without worrying about pleasing a demanding algorithm.

But I am going to miss you, TikTok.